Are You a Perfect “10”?

Are You a Perfect “10”?

The crossword clue read, three-letter word meaning, “be human”, the answer: “err”. Making mistakes, missteps and errors comes with being human. Then why do we subscribe to the idea of perfectionism in so many aspects of our lives? Our culture subscribes to being the “ideal family”, having a figure rating, a score of “10”, and the man that has it all, Mr. Perfect.  Schools promote perfect attendance, restaurants and hotels are rated by counting stars and religion sometimes places a priority on saintly behavior. (We have confession for those who “err”.) Wherever we look, we are being rated and judged to a certain standard of behavior. Often times we strive and measure ourselves against the ideal of perfectionism.  But at what price? Perfectionism is a personal self-judgment. It can lead to destructive and addictive belief systems. We seek to avoid criticism, judgment and blame. We try to fit in looking perfect. Brene Brown compares this ideal of being perfect to a 20-ton shield that we lug around to protect us, but in reality it’s the one thing that prevents us from taking flight. So rather than striving for perfection we should seek progress. Not that we don’t try to be the best that we can, but when we do err, we need to put the behavior in it’s place of learning the lesson, practice radical self acceptance and move on in a positive manner. In the 1970’s there was an article in Cosmopolitan entitled, “What’s Right With Mr. Wrong.” At that time if you were not married to Mr. Perfect, raising 2 ideal children in a home surrounded by a...
Life – the Balancing Act

Life – the Balancing Act

Life is a balancing act. While I subscribe to the philosophy of squeezing all the juice out of life that I can, I realize that in some situations that I have no control whatsoever.   There are times when I have to throw my spiritual arms up in the air in surrender. I’ve said my prayers and waited for the answer, then waited some more. God seems to turning a deaf ear to my needs. After pelting God with all my pleas the answer is not what I expect. C’mon, God. It is exactly at these times that I remind myself that God ALWAYS answers our prayers. God replies in one of three ways:  1) God can say, “YES.”  This is the answer that we all are looking for! 2) God can answer “Not yet.” We have to remember that God does not deal on our time. God works on DST – Divine Standard Time. Our prayers will be answered sooner or later in God’s good time. 3) God can say, “ I have something better in mind.”This response is the tough one, calling into action our faith, trust and help. God knows exactly what we need and when we need it. God know our destiny and the lessons that we are here on earth to learn. With this knowledge and faith that my prayers will be answered, we need to shift to a different type of prayer. I call this the “Prayer of Surrender.” This Prayer of Surrender is based on four-evers: whatever, however, whenever, and forever. Whatever:Lord, your wish is my command. Whatever you want me to...
Squeeze the Juice Out of Life

Squeeze the Juice Out of Life

“The purpose of life is to live it, to take experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for a newer and richer experience.” Eleanor Roosevelt Yes, this is not a dress rehearsal. I’ve always said that we are not here for a long time, but a good time. We are here to delight in the world finding joy in daily life, no matter what it brings. With darts of negativity being hurled at us from all sides, oftentimes it’s difficult to live that “juicy” life.  Gravity through the years not only works physically but emotionally as well. We need to surround ourselves with positive energy providing a platform for optimism, squeezing the juice out of life. Mother Teresa gives us some wise words to remember: Life is an opportunity, benefit from it. Life is beauty, admire it. Life is a dream, realize it. Life is a challenge, meet it. Life is a duty, complete it. Life is a game, play it. Life is a promise, fulfill it. Life is sorrow, overcome it. Life is a song, sing it. Life is a struggle, accept it. Life is a tragedy, confront it. Life is an adventure, dare it. Life is luck, make it. Life is life, fight for it. Use this prayer to keep that joyful focus:  Dear Lord, Let me delight in your world finding the joy in my daily life. Let my spirit dance all the way to heaven for the eternal celebration. I know you will provide me with all I need so there’s no need for me to worry. Thank you....
Follow Your Bliss

Follow Your Bliss

Joe and I recently celebrated our 26thwedding anniversary! It was just like the storybook: “love at first sight.” It’s when the heart and soul scream, “Yes, he’s the one!” This phenomenon brings feelings of emotional intensity. It’s like your own cosmic attraction. So too, this feeling of bliss comes when you discover your destiny – deep down in your soul you understand how and why you are here on this earth. Your soul gushes, “Yes, this is why I’m here!” The recognition of purpose brings sheer contentment, blissful joy, and a relaxed peacefulness. It comes with the strength of conviction that we have chosen the right track, in spite of earthly setbacks. This feeling of being in the right place, at the right time and doing the right thing brings peace to the soul. Restlessness inside subsides. When we recognize our purpose, we seem to be in syncopation with the universe, effortlessly breathing in and breathing out, gliding through life. Similar to love at first sight, we don’t have to strain, worry, or stress to make things work. We are in an energetic field of joyful motion knowing that we have found our place and why. Our cups overflow, as the Bible says. Our hearts float, and our souls sing. There we find happiness. There we find God. But God didn’t promise us a rose garden. We are all to familiar with the pain and suffering found in our everyday lives. So how do we grasp this joy in the midst of heartache and tribulations? A truly joyful person has perspective, assimilating the world and its happenings according to...
Can Life Be Simple?

Can Life Be Simple?

“You’re going to do what?” my sister cried through the phone when I told her that we were moving from the beach in Del Mar CA to the mountains of Whitefish MT. She finished urging, “Don’t tell anybody because they will lock you up as a crazy person!” Twenty years ago, my husband, Joe and I, had heard “adventure” calling us to break out of our predictable life leaving 4 million of our closest friends on the clogged freeways in CA to discover the “simple life” in MT. The simple life is one of authenticity. As I was born and raised, I developed into a “guilt sponge” absorbing all the “shoulds” and expectations of others. There are some tell tale signs that you are not living the “simple life”. As a “guilt sponge”, I felt I had to pleaseothers, be perfect, andperformas expected.  And in order to measure up to high “guilt sponge” standards, I found myself pretendingsituations weren’t so, and procrastinatingthe difficult decisions. Sound familiar? With the focus on pleasing others, we build prison walls around ourselves. The walls limit our gain of personal freedom and happiness, living for others and thus losing all one’s authenticity. I guess the pull that I felt to move to the “simple life” was the call to be brave, courageous and authentic. “The greatest challenge in life is to be our own person and accept that being different is a blessing and not a curse. A person who knows who they are lives a simple life by eliminating from their orbit anything that does not align with his or her overriding purpose...