With Thanksgiving behind us, the upcoming holiday season is officially here. (Although Macy’s enjoyed an early kick-off entertaining shoppers with Christmas carols as I was folding up my Halloween costume.) The seasonal festivities are joy-filled but can also be trappings for guilt. We have to be aware of all the demands of family, job, and many other obligations can pull us in various directions causing stress and evoke those nagging thoughts of guilt bombarding our brains…gifts to purchase, trees to decorate, cookies to bake, parties to attend, meals to plan, cards to mail
, etc. Besides the physical demands of the season we may also deal with some religious questions, feelings, and baggage. Perhaps the rites and rituals that were a strong part of our childhood rearing fight to find a place in your meaningful expressions of today. Pangs of guilt shoot through us from years past. What can we do to get through the holiday season with “wisdom, age, and grace?” First, quiet that ticking clock that demands a lot of time and precious energy. Carve out some planned time just for you. Your walk, your meditation, or your relaxation are important skills to practice. Throw aside the guilt to get everything done perfectly. The “big day” will come and go no matter your “state of readiness”. With your healthy state of mind, everything will be perfect and you will enjoy the special time even more. Second, set reasonable goals for yourself. Remember you can’t be all things to all people. When you feel tugged in a million directions, try to center yourself. Prioritize according to your values, time, and obligations. Thirdly, and most important, for all of us “guilt sponges” is to say “no” and learn how to disappoint others and be OK with that. So you didn’t quite get all the Christmas cookies baked and delivered, so what? So you didn’t volunteer for the Meals on Wheels program this year? Maybe next year! Release the expectations that you may have for yourself and others. Lighten the loads of responsibility. It is what it is! Practice a little self-compassion with yourself and others during these stress-filled days. Others’ disappointment in you is in no way a reflection on you. You are on your own path, not be be judged. As for the religious celebrations, know that Spirit speaks to each of us and we need to honor that relationship no matter how the religious expressions have altered through the years. Be assured that you are a very special child of the Spirit, called to share in His/Her life of joy and celebration. Your divine essence is cause enough to “bring the party on”. By taking care of yourself and knowing where the hidden traps of the season are, you can arm yourself with joy, peace, cause for true happiness. Enjoy a guilt-free holiday season!
