As the Olympics wind down my emotions can finally “take a break”. After watching the women’s gymnastic competition I couldn’t sleep…for hours. You would think that I had a daughter or relative participating.. I did not. I was just another interested spectator. I held my breath as the beautiful young women mounted the beam to do their “tricks” and maneuver a balanced landing on slice of wood, looking more like a toothpick than a landing area. I paced the floor as the competitors ran at a million miles an hour to mount the vault hurling themselves into thin air only to “stick” the impossible landing. With my stomach in knots and my whole body taut with tension, I tried to wind-down to relax and go to sleep. As I tossed and turned my mind was bombarded with the joyful winners and the distraught “losers”. One image especially bombarded my mind: the image of the young man who had lost the competition. He was in front of the TV cameras with tears flowing, begging forgiveness from his country, his countrymen, his coaches, trainers, mom, dad, and brother. The litany of shame seemed never-ending reflecting the guilt that ran out of his eyes. My heart broke for the young man because he had disappointed those that were counting on him. No words could possibly comfort him. An admonition from a previous workshop struck me like a bolt of lightning: “learn to disappoint”. At first “listen” I was baffled by this concept. I worked my whole life not to disappoint ANYONE. I worked to please others almost to an unhealthy expectation. We strive to do our best but sometimes we fall short. Let’s not be too hard on ourselves and others. Know that we are each on our own journey with our own lessons along our individual paths. Focus more on the cooperation rather than the competition. Learn to forgive: yourself and those around you. I guess that if you start out forgiving yourself and others for not “meeting the mark” of expectations in smaller every day activities that you might be able to handle the bigger disappointments in life, no matter what the stage. Remember we are here to learn….it may be gut-wretching, but still an opportunity to learn.
