Do you know what is one of the biggest regrets of the dying? It’s a pang of disappointment wishing that they had had the courage to live their lives for themselves and not for others.
How sad it is to think that one’s precious time on earth is seen in the rear view mirror as a regret, not living the life they were meant to live to the fullest lamenting opportunities missed.
Granted, constantly giving to others and making people happy sounds good on paper but at what expense to you, your life, and your dreams?
What can we do to take control of our own lives so we do not fall into the remorse of not enjoying our lives and fulfilling our goals?
Remember Secret #2 with the old baseball analogy, “You can’t steal second base, and keep your foot on first”. –Frederick B. Wilcox
We have to be risk takers to ensure our happiness. We need to take our “foot off first”, leave our safe comfort zones, as we head to the call of our own drummer.
We need to learn to care for ourselves and not be afraid to disappoint people. We need to be OK with the look of rejection, disappointment and letdown. Let’s ensure our own happiness.
But how?
Keep a reflective journal, “On the Road to My Happiness”
The method that has worked for me in taking stock is an “Honesty Journal.” To create an Honesty Journal, take a page and divide it into four quadrants. Label the quadrants:
- What is working for me
- What is not working for me
- What happiness would look like
- What I need to do
Once you have your page set up, fill in the quadrants. Let’s examine what you should investigate using each of these quadrants.
In the first quadrant, titled “What is working for me,” make a list of positive attributes working in your life. List your personal strengths and skills. Identify situations in which you excel. Examine the people around you—friends, family, and co-workers—specifying those who support and nourish you. Only list those who have a positive affect on you.
In the second quadrant, you’ll need to dig into what is not working for you. Look at situations that you find uncomfortable, especially those that drain your mental, physical, and psychological energy. Be sure to include in the list any people who may make you feel threatened in any way or people you frequently worry about.
In the third quadrant, look at what happiness would look like for you. Be specific. List anything that would make your soul sing.
In the fourth quadrant, examine what you need to do. Here’s where you must create an action plan. The plan needs to address building healthy relationships and pulling back on those that do not feed your soul.
Initially, the reflective journaling may seem cumbersome because it takes time to dig deeply into how you feel. It may also be painful for you to evaluate uncomfortable situations, especially if you have disappointed loved ones who count on you.
In keeping in touch with your inner self through the journal you will ensure that at the end of your time on earth you will not grieve over the fact that you failed to live the life that you were meant to enjoy.
What do YOU do to ensure that you are living the life of YOUR desires?
Here’s to your happiness.
Patty (a.k.a. Sister Mary Vodka)
