With the Season to be jolly, comes the season of shoulds: I should bake cookies for the neighborhood Christmas cookie exchange. I should write a personal note on each holiday card. I should entertain more family and friends. I should decorate my mantels like I saw in the magazine. Does any of this sound familiar?
If so, you have come down with the annual case of the “shoulds”. It’s easy to catch this syndrome of stress in this season. The pressures seem to mount each year almost to the point of taking the joy right out of the “happiest season of all.”
“Seasonal joy” comes with gifts to buy, wrap, and ship; cards to create, address, and mail; cookies to ice, package, and share; food to purchase, prepare and serve, trees to decorate, parties to orchestrate and family gatherings to plan, throwing yet another layer of uneasiness in the mix for most of us. Oh, the list of “should dos” driving the pangs of guilt deeper during this festive season, could go on endlessly.
If you feel like the stress of juggling too much, you are not alone. The Huffington Post reported that 91 percent of people feel stressed during regular days. Imagine the sky rocketing numbers during the holiday season. That high percentage indicates the need for balance.
According to the American Psychological Association, the leading holiday stressor is “lack of time”, with 67%. HELP! How can we keep it all together without somehow “losing it”?
Balance is a state of equilibrium. In preparation for the celebrations we need to juggle all the normal responsibilities with the added flurry of holiday preparations. To achieve balance in our lives we need to give ourselves a license to manipulate normal duties and the liberty to alter obligations, real or imaginary.
To assist in enjoying your holiday season with the activities and within the timeframe that works best for you, I suggest a simple old school procedure–the permission slip.
When your stomach shoots out darts of expectations or “shoulds”, get out a special notebook, maybe like a doctor’s prescription pad. With pen in hand, give yourself a formal break, permission to march to the beat of your own drummer. Use these words for starters:
This slip gives Patty official permission to _____________.
….send out her Christmas cards AFTER the holiday.
…..buy Christmas cookies at a bake sale instead of trying to bake them herself.
…..reschedule the neighborhood holiday party until January.
Fill in the blanks with whatever you feel you need at the time. No worries and especially no guilt.
Writing it down can grant you “official” permission to do what feels best for you and not work to meet the expectation of others.
Sure it might be nice to make everyone’s wishes come true with home baked cookies, beautifully over the top house decorations like Martha Stewart, and hand written holiday cards.
But with your permissions slips, you will have time and energy for what brings you joy and leave the rest. Your home and your heart will still be full of holiday cheer and you will be more relaxed and enjoy the peace of the season. Isn’t that what it’s all about anyway???
What do you do to “keep the peace” during this time of the year?
