For most of my life I have made decisions from a fear-based approach. They say that you move through life motivated by either love or fear.
During the past weekend celebrating Father’s Day I realized that my decisions were primarily based on fear – pleasing my two fathers – my earthly father and my heavenly father.
I worked to appease them, fulfilling their every wish, not wanting to disappoint them. I shuddered to think that if I crossed my earthly father, the roof might blow off and if I disobeyed my heavenly father I would burn in hell for eternity…and that’s a long time!
In my spiritual development I now realize how my misconceptions steered me down the wrong road. I’ve come to understand that both entities would love me no matter what I did.
How do you move away from fear-based decision making after having this mentality ingrained over so many years?
In her book Common Sense Happiness, friend and author, Loree Bishoff, offers an essential step to help over come fear.
Loree urges us to use the facts, moving us away from the emotional lure in making our options. Decide what is the worst thing that could happen and then articulate what is the best situation that could come out of it.
Let’s look at what we are afraid of…
Do you fear telling the truth? People may think less of you.
Do you fear of disappointing people? They may take away their love and support.
Do you fear asking for help? You may look weak and needy.
Do you fear people saying “no” to you? You may look foolish and wanting?
I wanted to engage Loree’s suggestion of using facts, looking at the worst and best scenarios in one of my current fear-based situations. I’m thrilled to tell you that it worked.
I’m currently working on a new book, “G-vites – Divine Invitations from God” and seeking endorsements from credible authors in my field…that means asking them to take the time from their busy schedules to read my “stuff”, evaluate the material, and then hopefully write a testimonial to its worth. It’s huge request on my part.
I considered sending a request to Nick Bunick, a New York Times best selling author. His book The Messenger, so inspired me that having his testimonial would mean so much. Desiring to seek an endorsement from a person of his stature sent shooting darts of fear through my stomach.
The worst scenario: Nick could ignore my request, write back that he couldn’t spare the time or even worse, not want to put his name endorsing my ideas.
The best scenario: Nick would get back to me with a great review and I would have succeeded gaining the support of someone’s opinion and work that I admire.
Here’s Nick’s review as I celebrate my success. I never would have received this if I didn’t take my foot off the first base of fear, look at the facts, and take the leap of faith to second base.
“Reading G-vites is a wonderful spiritual experience for it reveals to us the many encounters that we have with the Divine in our daily lives. This extraordinary book opens our eyes, our minds, and our hearts to make us aware of God being in our lives every day, every moment, but also teaches us how to incorporate God’s presence and teachings into our very being.
G-vites is a must read for every person who is seeking that personal relationship with God. This practical well-written book will enable you to experience a transformation, an opportunity to become at one with that part of God inside of every one of us. It is a must read for every person who is on a spiritual path seeking the presence of the Divine.”
Lesson learned: Get out of my emotional decision making approach of being rejected and logically make a decision that holds out the best for me. Thanks for the essential step in overcoming fear, Loree !
Eternally Grateful to Nick!
What is one fear that you might share? Sharing might be a fear!!
